Death Cafe in Los Angeles with Betsy Trapasso

Death Café Los Angeles

is proudly showing the PBS POV documentary

Homegoings

A film by Christine Turner

“Homegoings” is an inspiring portrait of a legendary Harlem         undertaker and African-American funeral traditions

Isaiah Owens always knew he had a calling: to send the dearly departed "Home."

"When it comes to death and funerals, African-American people, we have our own way," Isaiah Owens states in the new documentary Homegoings. "It has worked for us throughout the ages; it has kept us balanced, sane. And everybody know[s] that it's going to be a sad, good time."

Death Café is where we talk about death and life in a safe setting

WHERE:   Sidewalk Café HTS

2057 N. Robles Avenue, Pasadena

WHEN:   Sunday, June 9, 2013        2:00 – 5:00 pm

HOW:   Must RSVP to Betsy Trapasso, your hostess

email: betsy@betsytrapasso.com

Space is limited

Food and drinks are available for purchase

This event is a collaboration with POV, the award-winning independent nonfiction film series on PBS (www.pbs.org/pov)

National broadcast of Homegoings is on PBS

Monday, June 24, 2013 at 10:00 pm

Check local PBS listings at www.pbs.org/pov

For more information:  facebook.com/deathcafelosangeles and deathcafe.com

Write-up of Death Café London

James and Lawrence

By James Norris of Dead Social

Last week DeadSocial took a week off from our normal activities to run a popup shop in London and host a series of events and workshops during Dying Matters Awareness Week.  One of the highlights was an event called ‘Death Café’.

Death Café is a place for open discussion around death. Over 100 Death Cafés have now occurred across the globe. They help to bring people together and to discuss death in an overt and nonjudgmental way.

Death Café’s founder Jon Underwood hosted the event on Wednesday. Proceedings began by Jon asking us all to introduce ourselves to one another at the start of the evening. 

As we heard one another’s reason for attending I found each persons story and motives for attending incredibly moving and very different to the next.

Once we had all introduced ourselves the conversion began. I knew that Death Café followed the agenda of “no defined agenda” but I secretly thought that stimuli of some sort would be required… I was wrong. The conversation flowed from the offset and didn’t stop until the end of the evening.

This death café took place on two biodegradable coffins. The white coffin included the text “Before I die I would like to…” on the top of it. A second biodegradable coffin (blue with clouds print) also was used.

Those attending Death Café and visitors to the popup space over the course of the week were able to write their pre-death wishes on it. This activity also took place on wall echoing the same statement.

I found Death Café both fascinating and empowering. I also loved and fully support the guideline that religious beliefs should be respected but at the same time religion was not the focus of the café. Religion was therefore touched upon however not debated at length.

The passion for or against religion or non-religious beliefs could very easily act as a catalyst and turn the café into a debate rather than a discussion. I am happy that this was not the case.

“More cakes are eaten at funerals then they are at weddings” Jon told the group at one stage during the evening J   The cakes were provided and donated by attendees and the brownies donated by We Love Brownies (a local baker & friend of the Camden Collective).

I would encourage anyone who is interested in discussing death to attend a death café. If there is not one planned in your local area then you may want to consider hosting one.

I look forward to attending another Death Café again soon and hopefully reconnect with some of those I met last week.

Report back from Death Café in Oxford with Josefine Speyer

Monday 13 May 2013, 6.30pm – 8.30pm

ALBION BEATNIK BOOKSTORE, 34 Walton Street, Oxford OX2

with Josefine Speyer

We had a very enjoyable Death Cafe gathering at Dennis's Albion Beatnik Bookstore. A big Thank You to Dennis for hosting us! Sitting around small coffee tables in the shop window, surrounded by books piled high. A really beautiful little place. Reminding of Harry Potter or days gone by. A really intimate and delightful venue for this Death Café.

A small group of eight people attended. Not all who booked were able to come and others joined us without booking, so it worked out really well in the end. It was a diverse and friendly group of people ranging from aged 20's - 76!

This Death Café happened to take place during Dying Matters Awareness Week and several Death Cafes were held in Oxford and in the area during that week! It is wonderful to see how Death Cafes are springing up everywhere. One of the members of our group held a Death Café later in the week with the OxBel (www.oxbel.org.uk) a befriending service for people with life-threatening illnesses, a charity I helped set up with Diana Senior in the 1990’s.

Our little group had a nearly even number of men and women, which is an achievement. There seems to be much more willingness nowadays for men to speak about personal experiences, thoughts and belief around dying. In the 1990s relatively few men would join a conversation about death. After the general welcome and introduction I asked that we all introduce ourselves, saying a little about ourselves and why we were interested to come to the Death Café. People wanted to stay in the whole group and not speak in pairs. So we had a large circle of introductions and from there a conversation developed when people spoke in more depth about their concerns.

One topic was the difficulty of having a conversation about death within the family, where people held different attitudes and showed no interest in discussing their views or saying more about why they thought the way they did. Everyone in the group was eager to address the subject. Another topic was funerals and people’s views of these and their different experiences and ideas. The issue of suicide was brought up and how to be present with someone who is suicidal.

The evening was over far too quickly.  As always there was a feeling of warmth, humour and openness amongst the group. Strangers had come together and shared some intimate and moving stories with each other.

Dennis, the bookstore owner was a gentle presence in the background and supplied us with delicious tea and cake. He is kindly offering to have us back for another Death Café in the future. I am keen!

Here is some of the feedback:

Happy & Interesting! Wishing for more time. A day maybe?  57, female, health care writer & editor

Thought provoking. Well conducted. Honesty & humour. 65, male, writer

I really enjoyed the evening and thought you handled it so well, giving everyone time and honesty. Thanks for allowing me just to be there. I needed it then. 69, female, retired from working with, gypsies & travellers in Oxfordshire.

Write up of the first Death Cafe in Leicester, UK

Latest on Death Cafe in Columbus, Ohio with Lizzy Miles

Our next death cafe is Wednesday June 12th!Location: Panera Community Room, 782 N. State Street
(Corner of Maxtown and Rt. 3) in Westerville
7-9 p.m. (please arrive by 6:45 if ordering food).
Tea and cake will be provided. No RSVP necessary.
Please contact lizzymiles @ gmail.com with questions.

Columbus, OH Death Café #11: May 15, 2013
Grave Matters: Dealing with DeathBy Lizzy Miles

On May 8, I was part of a radio show on WOSU, All Sides with Ann Fisher: Grave Matters: Dealing with Death which talked about a few aspects of death. Joshua Slocum, with Funeral Consumers Alliance talked about challenges with selecting a funeral home and planning a funeral. Then I shared the story about the Death Café history, evolution and philosophy. After me, Susan Soper, author of Obit Kit, explored the benefits of writing your own obituary. I was so glad that we had an hour to talk about death and dying. I discovered how popular the radio show was during the night of our eleventh Death Café, when many of the attendees came because they had heard the program and wanted to participate in the Death Café conversation. The event was hosted at a Westerville Panera in their community room. It’s a cozy place and the managers are now used to us “death” people coming in.

We had seventeen attendees, including a hospice chaplain, a massage therapist, a local member of the Funeral Consumers Alliance, a Reiki practitioner, and a surgical resident who is confronted with end of life decisions with his patients on a daily basis. Then of course, there were also people who had experienced loss. I always am very careful to be sure that attendees understand that the Death Café is not a grief support group. I don’t want there to be unmet expectations. Fortunately, because many were there because they had heard my 15 minute Death Café radio interview, participants were well aware of the philosophy and the purpose of the Death Café gathering.

One attendee came because she is a friend of mine and it was my birthday. I was nervous when I filled the open seat across from her with someone who had lost a twin. My friend is a twin and I thought it would be hard for her to hear about the loss experience of another twin. The woman across from her was very involved in a support group called Twinless Twins. The universe works in mysterious ways I guess. In the beginning my friend held back a bit, but then about an hour into the experience, I saw her sharing and engaged in conversation. The Death Café experience is magic.

I cannot say enough how much I love the diversity of conversation that comes up at the events. It is fascinating. Two separate people at two different tables raved about Eben Alexander’s book Proof of Heaven. If you haven’t read it, it is about a neuroscientist’s near death experience. I have not read the book myself yet, but given the positive endorsements, I’m encouraged to buy a copy.

One of the conversations that interested me was the discussion about the timing of when people die and how some family members chose to die when no one is present. In my hospice work, we have a goal for no one to die alone, but some people seem to prefer that and pass when the family member stepped out of the room. As one participant suggested, perhaps dying is a private thing like going to the bathroom…”Don’t look, I’m going to die.”

Another conversation suggested that our loved ones are here as long as they feel they are needed. “Life is sustained by a sense of purpose.” That is a powerful statement.

One woman indicated her desire to have a DNR even though she does not have a terminal illness. She still feels that if her heart stops, then it’s her time to go. She found out that the doctors would not allow for her to have one. She had a sense of humor about the absurdity of the rule. “You can’t get a DNR unless you’re terminal. Well guess what, LIFE is terminal.”

Given that many of the attendees had heard the Ann Fisher broadcast, the subject of funeral costs and the power of writing your own obituaries was also discussed.

Columbus, OH Death Café #10 (LGBT Death Cafe #2):  April 30, 2013

Let’s Put the Fun Back in Funeral

By Lizzy Miles

Who knew one could laugh so much at an event where people are sitting around talking about death?  Our 2^nd LGBT Death Café was a totally different vibe from the first one.  The Death Café was hosted in partnership with Stonewall Columbus, the local LGBT community center.  My co-host was Lori Gum, the program Director.  We had twelve attendees which was the perfect size for conversation.  We started out in three small groups and then rolled up to a larger group at the end.  I didn’t know WHAT they were talking about, but the other two tables would have frequent bursts of laughter.  Finally, when we rolled up to one large group I got to hear some of the humor.  Perhaps you had to be there.

Conversations were varied, as they always are.  It is why I love the Death Café concept.  I’m a bit strict on maintaining the principles of “no ideology, no agenda.”  In my mind, that approach really pays off because the conversations go anywhere and everywhere.

One attendee talked about the tragic death of a child in a school she worked at.  She fought to have the children have the opportunity to participate in memorial services.  One innocent child, with only the experience of weddings and birthday parties had asked her, “When do we get to send the invitations?”  The group all agreed that death education at a young age would be beneficial.  We should be taught about death and finances.  Well, Ben Franklin did say, “nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”  In relation to educating children about death, one attendee said, “You can’t keep children in a greenhouse and then put them out in winter and say that’s life.”

What would you have on your epitaph?  One attendee commented that she discovered that the cemetery would not allow, “Takes no bullshit” in the mausoleum but that phrase could be inscribed on a tombstone.  I may have to adopt that phrase as my motto.

Sort of funny, sort of not… one attendee said, “My fear is that I die and no one finds me and then my animals eat me.”  Ewww.  Friends at the table assured the attendee that they wouldn’t let that happen.

We did also talk about animal companions that provide support to cancer patients.  One attendee told a story about a place that recognized that the dogs that were providing support exhibited signs of grief themselves.  They ended up rotating the dogs so that they could spend some time away and recharge their energy.  Once the rotations started, the dogs did better with not being too sad themselves.

My favorite mysterious quote from one attendee, “I don’t have to worry about an open casket because my body won’t be found.”  I would like to explore that a bit further!

Death Cafe New York with Audrey Pellicano

Latest from Death Cafe in Tucson, Arizona with Kristine Bentz

Write ups of the May Death Cafes by Kristine Bentz 

MAY 3, 2013: Tucson Death Café held a special edition at an extraordinarily scenic location: the Higher Pyre in Tubac, Arizona. About 25 fearless and friendly folks headed south of Tucson to this private property situated near Elephant Head and Madera Canyon in the Santa Rita Mountains. While it is not a cremation facility serving the general public as of today, the owners are working toward it becoming a legally operating facility in the future, so individuals and families will have open-air cremation as a disposition choice in Arizona.

The sunset was spectacular, the food was even better, and the company --- well if you’ve been to death café, you know. The company is always interesting and our conversations explore beyond the norms of your everyday ‘party realm’. With a fire burning in a pyre – how could conversations be of an everyday nature, anyway?

We held a brief ceremony to honor our ancestors and then lit the fire in a soundless awe. Under the canopy of a pitch-black night sky, the fire crackled a vibrant and powerful message. Live now. We all stood hushed by the tall flames for a while, and then many of us felt the metaphorical fires lit under our collective behind, to help this pyre become an active facility in the near future!

May 7, 2013: Back in Tucson at Bookman’s Community Room, the usual meeting place & time since December 2012, we met for our biggest gathering yet. Due to this recent article in the Arizona Daily Star, we anticipated more attendance. We were a bit overwhelmed with the 37 people who did come. Growing pains? Yes. And the pains provided helpful lessons.

I’ve heard Jon Underwood explain how the ideal size for a Death Café is somewhere around 10-15 people. This number varies, of course, based on the facility where the gathering occurs, number of facilitators and so on. (After this meeting however, the numbers 10-15 felt even more attractive, if not a bit magical.) Back when our group was this size early on, the experience was smoother and more relaxed, more in-tune with the guiding principles of the Death Café.

As facilitators for May 7th, Cindy and I did our best to come up with ways for being in the small space with a large group in a respectful, fairly quiet, yet active manner. We chose to emphasize the ‘making the most of our finite lives’ aspect of the death cafe principles. We posted these questions around the room on the walls, and participants wrote answers on sticky notes, placing replies on the walls by the question. We asked ourselves:

Who are the happiest people I know and why?

What things do I want to try for the first time?

What places in my own town do I want to explore more?

What are the simple pleasures I want to make more time for?

When do I feel most ALIVE?
Overall, the activity seemed to work fairly well. (Quality sticky notes do help!) Some people expressed enjoyment. Yet a few folks registered dismay for not really looking squarely at death. We sat in a large circle to close and a broader conversation through sharing ensued.

The toughest part of this gathering presented itself afterward. An frail elderly gentleman who was referred to the Café by hospice bereavement staff chose to attend. His wife died in February. He was physically and mentally unable to be safely present and he collapsed in the bookstore afterward.

I mention this laborious and sorrowful part of our learning process so others may take special note: *** we are not a bereavement resource for principle mourners of recent death(s) ***. After this challenging experience, I cannot say this enough.

I see how, as a worldwide movement, we are doing what we can to hold spaces for positive and life-affirming experiences at Death Cafés. In Tucson, Cindy and I hope for people to enjoy themselves and leave with a sense of expanded awareness. To this end, we are changing the time, place and format next Tucson Death Café. We curiously look forward to what the next phase of this adventure holds! We intend to experience a freer-form environment with much less structure and much more freedom to explore topics anybody chooses to dive into with the people they meet. Next Café: Tuesday June 4th from 7-9PM at Monterey Court Studio Galleries and Café, on the north ramada. Learn more at: www.facebook.com/TucsonDeathCafe

Death Cafe Northern Nevada with Paula Schneider and Laurie Jain

Paula writes: Laurie and I consider it an honor to hold the space for the state of Nevada’s first Death Café. As two RN’s who have a combined 15 years of hospice nursing experience, assisting people to make a peaceful transition from this existence to the next, we feel that conversations about death and dying are extremely important to all people. As we discuss these issues, we feel participants’ fear will lessen, allowing people to open up to conversations with their own families about their end-of-life wishes and other topics in this area. We are very excited about interacting with our community and providing this opportunity for an expansion of everyone’s awareness. Our time together is open to all who are interested, and we will monitor the flow of conversation to uphold the principles of the Death Café movement.

First Death Cafe in New Zealand with Nicola Carroll and Zoe Alford

2nd Death Cafe Santa Barbara write-up

by Lynn Holzman

We had our second Death Cafe Santa Barbara on Monday, May 6th from 6-8PM. 

This time we had it in a community center. We advertised in our local free newspaper. About 30 people came. 

 We served tea and cake and used my grandmother's teacup collection. 

We started with general information about Death Cafes. Then people introduced themselves. I proposed a conversation starter and we split into small groups for discussion. The topic was "Discuss the first death you remember, or the most recent, or the most memorable". 

After that we reconvened in a circle to "wrap up". It was suggested that we go around the room and say an affirmation about life moving forward. Laughter erupted as did tears during the evening. 

I printed up a "death anxiety" questionnaire for people to refer to or take home: http://www.blinn.edu/socialscience/LDThomas/Feldman/Handouts/1904hand.htm

I had evaluation forms available, but no one has turned one in to me. 

I got a few emails of thanks. I got no negative feedback. The following is my favorite comment:

"My heart is so full of joy after tonight's Death Cafe"

We are in the process of planning our 3rd Death Cafe Santa Barbara

Death Cafe in London with Kate Hambleton and Tony Piper

St Joseph’s Hospice calls on community to talk about death and dying

St Joseph’s Hospice is hosting a Living and Dying Well Roadshow on Friday 17 May from 11am-2pm as part of Dying Matters Awareness Week.

Twenty local organisations including City & Hackney Mind, Richard House, Macmillan and Marie Curie will be showcasing the vast range of local services available to people affected by long term and life limiting conditions. Visitors can have enjoy free complementary therapy sessions and listen to live music performed by City of London Sinfonia who will be performing the premiere of a St Joseph’s song which has been written over the course of a number of workshops, by patients, staff and volunteers at the hospice, led by composer John K Miles.

Visitors can also take part in a Death Café scheduled at 1pm and hosted by Kate Hambleton, St Joseph’s Hospice and Tony Piper, Down to Earth.

For more information about this event, contact Noleen Turner on n.turner@stjh.org.uk or telephone 020 8525 3139.

Notes:

St Joseph’s Hospice provides a broad range of services to enrich the lives of patients and their families from the diverse communities of east and north-east London. St Joseph’s end of life care is available to all those who can benefit from it, working to meet all the needs of patients, including those which reflect their ethnic, cultural or religious heritage. All services are provided free. St Joseph’s is a charity and depends on the generosity of its supporters to enable it to continue its work.

www.stjh.org.uk

@StJoHospice

Set up by the National Council for Palliative Care in 2009, (NCPC) the Dying Matters Coalition aims to encourage people to talk about their own end of life issues with friends, family and loved ones in order to make ‘a good death’ possible for the 500,000 people who die in England each year.

Research for Dying Matters has found that many people have specific wishes about their end of life care or what they would like to happen to them after their death, but a reluctance to discuss these issues makes it much less likely that these will be met. There is a major mismatch between people’s preferences for where they would like to die and their actual place of death: 70% of people would prefer to die at home but more than half currently die in hospital.

Death Cafe in New South Wales, Australia with Kim Ryder

Death Cafe Toronto with Linda Stuart

Death Cafe in London with Jon Underwood

 

Death Cafe in Oxford with Claire Turnham and OxBEL

100th Death Cafe

Yesterday our 100th Death Cafes took place. 

As things turned out, this was Verona, Italy with Elisabetta Lucchi and Hilary Wilson. It was in the Casa Di Ramia Intercultural Centre for Disadvantaged Women, and was organised at the womens' request.

Our 100th Death Cafe feels really significant and is certainly an opportunity to look back joyfully. In the US, England, Canada, Wales, Australia and Italy (and soon to be Scotland and New Zealand) people have gathered over food and drink to discuss death. And as you can see from this blog, the results are often magical.

These events have been brought to you by a number of people, including Bernard Crettaz, Sue Barsky Reid, Lizzy Miles and me. But they also include all of you who have organised or been to a Death Cafe, or read about and rejoiced in this work. Thanks everyone so much! * group hug *

It felt good to mark the occasion (even if I didn't get to mention it) with a national UK radio interview which got a lovely response: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01sc9c9 (Death Cafe bit starts just after 49mins in). This resulted in an extra 750 people visiting this site.

Those working on Death Cafe are a diverse bunch but I think we're all proud of what we've achieved and are very much looking to the future. And talking of which, we said there would be a something special for our 100th Death Cafe and there is...

Despite there having been 100, Death Cafes have actually only happened in around 30 places. It's ok if you live in Bury St Edmunds or Columbus, Vancouver or Ann Arbor but what if you don't?

There is something special about meeting in person to discuss death and dying but could the Death Cafe magic be recreated over the phone or the internet? We're curious to find out. 

Lizzy, Don, Dale, me, Nigel, Kristie and others have been exchanging ideas about this for a while. We have decided to trail Death Cafes over the internet and phone for a short period of time.

Please stay posted for a schedule and join us in finding out if this works - if so it will enable more people to have relaxed, joyful conversations about death. 

Jon

Death Cafe Facilitators

Would you be interested in being part of this experiment? We need people to:

• Offer a trial Death Cafe to a small group of participants over the phone, skype or Google+
• In advance of this help to develop a short guidance note to help facilitators
• After the trials help collate findings and draw some conclusions about whether / how best to continue
• Help with booking and scheduling

If you'd like be be involved please get in contact: underwoodjon @ gmail.com

Pagan Spirit Gathering, Earlville, IL with Sherry Gilles and Raymond Anderson

Week of June 16, 2013 date TBA on site

Pagan Spirit Gathering, Earlville, IL

Free to attend for those at this well-known, well-attended Pagan gathering

Our community has experienced many deaths this past year. Pagans are more likely to acknowledge the circle of life but still have trouble finding people to talk with about death and there are many who have not really given death and dying much thought. Hosting the conversations around death is important in order to support our community members and friends.

We will be burning incense and lighting candles to provide a soothing atmosphere and have squishy stuffed puppies to provide tactile comfort. We have also been in contact with our camp's onsite psychological support team and they will be at the cafe to provide back up support if needed since we cannot anticipate how many people may show up at this cafe.

Hosts are Sherry Gilles and Raymond Anderson. Sherry is an RN with over 22 years of experience dealing with people and their health, physical and psychological issues. Both have experienced deep personal losses in their lives and believe in helping others through service.

We will be offering snacks that don't melt and which (hopefully) won't be eaten by raccoons while camping and offering tea. We will do our best to provide something suitable for the vegan crowd as well as providing old standards of child hood like moon pies and crumb cakes. Crowd-permitting perhaps we can send a picture or two after the event. Hopefully our dancing skeleton aprons arrive in time!

Death Cafe Santa Cruz, California with the Santa Cruz Threshold Group

The Santa Cruz Threshold Group warmly invites you to a Death Cafe, date TBC in June or July. We held our first Death Café on April 21st.

The Death Café movement, which began in England in 2011, has the following objective: “to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” (see www.deathcafe.com).

There will be refreshments and sharing about death in a nurturing, peaceful, and safe environment.

Please join us.

Please email Joya Birns (joyabirns @ gmail.com) to let us know if you'd like to find our more / attend.

The Santa Cruz, CA Threshold Group Biography:
The Santa Cruz Threshold Group is comprised of 8-10 core members from several spiritual streams (including Anthroposophical, Buddhist, Jewish) and with varying degrees of experience (social, legal, medical, practical, personal) in end-of-life matters. We meet monthly and are committed to holding an evolving, open and life-enhancing conversation on all matters related to death and dying with dignity. We all feel that a denial of death deprives us of one of the most valuable aspects of human experience and connection. We are grateful to Jon Underwood for providing a framework for a wider conversation in our community through the Death Cafe movement.

Joya Birns:
Being like most Americans - lacking in understanding of death growing up - when my husband was diagnosed with a very rare cancer 4 years ago, I decided it was important to face it squarely, learning more about it and the new awarenesses surrounding natural death and dying I had heard about in recent times. After attending a local workshop on the subject in spring of 2011, I called together fellow attendees to go further in exploration together. We named ourselves the Santa Cruz Threshold Group. Meeting and discussing all aspects of the subject together has helped me become a better caregiver for my husband as well as to realize I am really in this to prepare my own death, which I intend to make as conscious as possible.

Craig Wiggins:

I first encountered death around the age of ten when aged aunts and uncles passed on. The unreal atmosphere and hush-hush way of dealing with the situation gave way to a more natural atmosphere when I ran into The Christian Community and the Anthroposophical movement in Holland in the 1980's. No strained use of code words, no tensions about laying out a loved one for a vigil at home or in the chapel; there were open-hearted conversations about the path towards death and the experience itself whether horrible or peaceful. I experienced powerful moments during funerals when the true being of the deceased became present through rituals, biographical contributions, artistic engagement. Helping dying and death become a more welcome stretch of our path through life is one of my personal and professional goals as a resident of the 21st Century and as priest in The Christian Community.

Holly Blue Hawkins:
Holly Blue Hawkins, a member of a Chevre Kadisha (Jewish burial society), counsels and teaches on the practical and spiritual aspects of conscious dying and sustainable burial. Last Respects Consulting is the expression of her deep commitment to furthering awareness and preparation for the end-of-life journey.

Death Cafe in San Diego with Karen Van Dyke and Lainey Walker

Karen Van Dyke

Karen writes:

On Monday, May 13th the San Diego Community will experience the first Death Café at Casa de Luz in North Park at 6:30pm.

Talking about dying helps people to prepare for their own or other family members passing so that they live life more fully. The Death Café breathes life into the topic of death.

My Dad transitioned when I was 8 years old and my Mother when I was 23. Six years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer meeting death at the threshold. Two years ago I stood at the bedside of my sister, Judy, as she transitioned from this life, it was a beautiful and sacred time. Death is not our enemy it is part of the cycle of life. Thank you Jon Underwood for helping the topic of dying to go viral. You truly are the “death entrepreneur”.

The Death Café’s remind me of this beautiful poem by Ernest Hemingway –

For Whom the Bell Tolls

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

Mr. Hemingway, I think you are on to something. We will all die…so that we live.

Death Cafe in Norwich, England with Beth Settle

A Death Cafe will take place at the Greenhouse Cafe, Norwich, on Saturday 18th May at 10.30-12.30.

It will provide a safe and comfortable environment for people to openly discuss, and share their thoughts and reflections on, death and dying. All are welcome.

This Death Cafe is a booking-only event with limited places. It is free but donations are requested where possible to cover the cost of refreshments, which will be hot/cold drinks and cake.

To book please contact Beth Settle on bethany.settle@gmail.com (those without email access are welcome to leave a message on 01603 940012).